Faith · Family · Parenting · Perspective

Both Sides of the Coin

As we drove to Parent-Teacher conferences this morning, I gave my husband the run-down of activities and meetings for the next two days. If you remember my post from earlier this fall, you’ll recall that we took a “not at this time” stance to almost ALL extracurricular activities so we could regroup as a family – no flag football, no dance classes, no tumbling…

The list isn’t long – Parent Teacher Conferences 8:20-9am, an orthodontist appointment at noon, customers who scheduled ahead, and an awards ceremony Friday evening that should last only an hour.

I was struck by irony when he looks at me and says “Ugh… could we have anything else on the schedule!”

 Backstory: A couple times a month since July, I’ve reminded my husband gently clearly that I need his emotional support and leadership as a parent and as a spouse to make all-the-little-things work in our family. One of his love languages is to love us by providing at which he is amazing. *Take the time to do that study (5 Love Languages) if you are in a relationship!*

As a woman with only two hands and 24 hours in the day, I am incapable of doing it all without feeling completely depleted, beat down, and depressed. There – I said it – depressed. Out of routine and unable to juggle everybody’s everything, I’ve entertained the idea of simply running away. I know, it’s a super grown-up, mature thought (sarcasm).

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Fortunately, I know I’m loved and love myself too much to do this. We have to work together to balance both of us working full-time, two full-of-life children, a marriage relationship, and minimal hobbies that keep us sane. On top of that, we both need alone time to recharge.

Last week, we hit these topics with force. (Read that as “the ship was going down…”) Since that meltdown conversation, we’ve been quite in-sync and actually offering to help each other with daily tasks that make life easier.

I can’t help think that his reaction to my short list for the next two days is somewhat attached to that previous conversation. He’s been putting in so much effort that he’s seeing the other side of the coin. Marriage and kids take both sides of the coin to function. 13 years of marriage… still learning!

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Faith · Family · Parenting · Perspective

Part 3: The Flaming Yam

I am gloriously human. I heard that phrase at the women’s faith conference I attended. To be gloriously human, you must accept both the high points and the low.

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Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com on Pexels.com

Being uniquely knit together by God makes you glorious- even if you don’t think so. You are made for something amazing. Maybe you haven’t found it yet or pieced together that puzzle , but there is a purpose for your existence.

The human part is where the lows come in. We are so fallible. Making mistakes a fair amount of the time. Honestly? That’s ok. There’s this thing called grace. It’s hard to comprehend, but it’s part of the puzzle too.

With that in mind, here is a glimpse of my day of the flaming yam…. a day when an incredible amount of grace and humility and humor was necessary…

  1. Spilled glass of red juice in light grey couch while doing early morning devotions. Stain stick and steam cleaned couch before the sun rose.
  2. Daughter cried for 10 minutes about getting out of bed (day3 of school. This bodes well for the year…)
  3. Found spelling homework in child’s backpack 10 minutes before bus.
  4. Filling in my tooth at dentist. I just LOVE the dentist. (Feel the sarcasm?) I ate my pre-packed salad for lunch with half numb upper jaw. Note to self- next time pack soup.
  5. Worked all day with exception to dentist appt.
  6. Child #1 got off bus and melted down about reading homework. Metaphoric nuclear meltdown on the office floor.
  7. Rushed to make dinner after work because family was LOSING it (American slang of ‘hangry’ fits this) Grilled cheese sandwiches, fruit, and baked potatoes
  8. And the finale- while trying to appease everyone’s personal tastes, I caught a sweet potato ON FIRE in the microwave. Not just a smolder, full on flames and smoke.
  9. Apparently there is science to this- lower moisture content and higher sugar plus high heat equals carbonized sugar. Sizzle, smoke, fully engulfed in flames…
  10. I know we have a working, charged fire extinguisher in the kitchen, but I can’t find it!
  11. When running the flaming yam pinched in a set of metal tongs out the door to toss in a puddle (it rained that day), I forgot about the grilled cheeses on the hot griddle. Those were also burning when I returned to the kitchen.
  12. After the smoke cleared – literally- I threw in the towel. Eat up people.
  13. I’m called it a night. I didn’t even eat.

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That was an actual day in my life. I accept that I am gloriously human. I accept that this day was humbling and ludicrous. It was also humorous. Days like this will drive you to drink if you don’t have a sense of humor.

Lessons of this day: Stay humble. Rejoice in being gloriously human. Keep your sense of humor.

Perspective

Fatigue, Faith, and a Flaming Yam- Pt 1

Goodness. It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve written. The title of this blog post sums up the month of August fairly well. I’m breaking this down into 3 parts simply because I need to get my kids up and dressed for church. #reallife

Fatigue has been a real bear this past month. A culmination of everything “make sure the kids have a fabulous summer” and then tack on a bacterial illness and two weeks of high dose antibiotics. Ugh. My body was DONE.

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My kids got my phone and caught me resting.

I NEVER put the blame for anything with my body on MS, but had to concede on this one. I couldn’t function or fight thru the fog to think straight. I had to change my thought process from blaming MS and those flipping lesions to accepting that this is a reason.

When I associate an image with the word Blame, it looks like a kid having a tantrum. I won’t allow this situation to lower me to that.  Honestly, in the depths of the fatigue I didn’t have the energy for a tantrum. My kids, husband and work all still require attention. This body still has responsibilities.

After a solid heart to heart with my sister and a day at a women’s faith conference, I admitted that the elephant in the room is this autoimmune disease. Even though I refuse to use it as an excuse, an excuse is very different than a reason. Many factors led to my body being worn out. Multiple sclerosis is the reason for this level of fatigue.

I’m happy to say that a week later, I’m starting to feel like myself again. I’ve hit the stationary bike twice, elliptical once, and ran my outdoor route twice. All modes of transportation are much slower than when I’m at my top. Exercise sharpens my mind and improves my mood.

I’m listening to my body.

Part 2: Faith

Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

To do or not to do?

I called my mom for reassurance. I’m a 35 year old woman who needed to hear my mom say “I think that’s a good idea for your family.”

The conversation has been mulling around in my brain for days. Do we or don’t we enroll in fall dance classes? Maybe we should try tumbling instead? Do we or don’t we encourage our son to sign up for fall flag football?

Leaning hard to the “No.” side of things, this was definitely a conversation that needed my spouse’s input. Although I am the chief get-kids-to-their-destination driver, everything we sign up for impacts all of us. Dinner schedules, my level of stress, when I need to leave work, can I work late?… All the pieces revolve around what we are committed to..

The pressure to sign up for extra kid’s activities is immense. It’s a weight I never giphy8anticipated carrying. The cost isn’t great either. Art classes, sports, dance, tumbling, volunteer opportunities, library activities…

Is my child going to be left out if she/he doesn’t sign up? Will they be athletically or academically behind?

Honestly… the answer is no.

No- all the way – no. Last time I checked, my 8 year old wasn’t trying out to be on the farm team (aka the minor leagues) for major league baseball. My daughter isn’t going to be in the Rockettes at age 6. Nor will taking the fall semester off from extra classes stunt their abilities.

Drawing this line in the sand will hopefully allow my family and friends time to be together. Let’s grill out on the patio for dinner! How about a nice bike ride on a Tuesday night after school? Invite a friend over to play for a couple of hours? Sure. I don’t need to schedule around this class or that class.

This basically sounds like utopia after the frenzied summer we’ve had. Although I swore we weren’t going to be THAT overscheduled family, we absolutely were. To say no… it’s a bold choice in our current culture. Being busy, scheduled, and enrolled in everything imaginable to enrich ourselves has left us all drained.

Our conversation about this was short and sweet. My husband agreed completely. Now, to finish convincing myself that I’m not blighting my children’s interests and aspirations I called my mother. She listened without judgement as I presented my case for NOT being involved and replied “I think that’s a good idea for your family.”

Isn’t it sad that the pressure to please others is so great that I needed to hear my mother reassure me that I was making the correct choice for MY family? Thank goodness for amazing beautiful souls like hers.

Don’t we all want to have the freedom in our schedule to do things like this?

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After a fall semester off from the extras, it’s possible that we will be ready and eager to do winter activities like basketball or dance. Perhaps we’ll discover that we enjoy less time running around. Either way, we’ll roll with it when it comes.

Creativity · Family · Fitness · Perspective

Begins with “S”

Six Miles – That’s how many glorious, relaxing miles I got in last night while my kids were at Vacation Bible School. How many times is it 6miles_LIonly 63 degrees for a July evening run in the Midwest – USA?! I’m officially one minute per mile slower than when I was getting consistent runs done.

Six miles of feeling my feet hit the road while listening to the music on my iPod. Freeing. Sanity breathing. Mind clearing. I’ve registered for a 10K in September. After last night’s run, my confidence at running it comfortably has increased. I doubt it will be a 10K PR, but I suspect I can cut time if I get in a uniform schedule.

SullivanSullivan – Our new, very large cat (Maine Coon) has decided his favorite place to lay is in a bathroom sink. I guess that’s fine…. “You do you, Sully.” Today is the 5th day since we adopted him. After having an affable feline friend for over a decade until his passing in December, the enjoyment of my husband and kids to this new guy is evident. Honestly, I’m still warming up to having an indoor pet again.

School – Dare I say it? We are edging up on less than 20 days until it starts! After we returned from Colorado and knocked out a few days at the fair, everyone seems considerably happier about school starting. The kids look forward to consistent time with friends and living a normal schedule. I swore I wouldn’t mention it until August starts…. but we had school supplies on super sale at our local store – 20 pencils for $0.99 and notebooks for $0.19 each. It would have been silly to miss that discount when those items were on the list.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Other “s” encounters this week included a snake, storms, and my son’s prize winning sunflower at the fair. Have a snazzy, superb week!

Family · Fitness · Health · Parenting · Perspective

Running Away from Monday

It’s been one of those Mondays where I put on my running clothes to run before the sun came up.

But I haven’t ran yet.

It began to thunder, followed by a downpour. Intermittent sharp cloud to ground lightning.

Then I had to get the kids to daycare and myself to work – still wearing my running clothes. Call it the definition of a “Casual Monday?” Perks to owning the business and staying behind a desk.

The weather cleared. I was going to use my lunch to run. But I didn’t get a lunch and ate at my desk because customers LOVE to call and show up at lunch.

Then another thunderstorm moved in.

And I’m still sitting here at the end of the work day wearing my running clothes. I’ve been wearing my “Flipbelt” stuffed with my fully charged iPod and ear buds all. day. long.

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The kids go to VBS for two and a half hours tonight. I will be using that time to run, if not outdoors then at the gym.

I took five minutes to read about an extreme “reset diet and workout routine” that ended with fabulous results. The author of the article- who I might add was single and childless – talked about needing two hours every day at the gym.

I can’t get 30 minutes for a nice leisurely 5K.

A woman can only be functioning for so many hours of the day.

Bleh. Can I just run away from this Monday?

 

 

Perspective · Uncategorized

Courtesy

I’m a SUPER optimist. I solve problems or at least try to find a way to process and improve them.

However – I’m starting to believe that common courtesy is becoming less common…

The point of all of this is: If you make an appointment with someone, KEEP IT.

My husband and I own and operate a small business with two other full-time employees. We started this business from scratch straight out of college. Short of the couple of years I taught high school physical science/ physics classes and while I was on maternity, we’ve worked together in the office full-time.

As is frequently the case, one of us has to go somewhere to pick up or deliver parts, machinery, or trips for the deposit. We have to physically leave the office. This puts all the office responsibilities in the lap of the other person. Today, it’s my lap.

I have a list of people that are scheduled to come by, a list of phone calls to return, am manning the phone, and updating the advertising and web.

Here’s the rub. When you make an appointment to meet someone, usually you try to show up early or be prompt. 10 minutes can still an acceptable grace period if you can’t be exactly on time or early as long as it isn’t a medical appointment and you’ve called to say you are running late. When it’s over the noon hour, aka lunch, the courteous thing to do is to call if you aren’t going to make it near your appointment time.

giphy5I’ve been working on various odd jobs around my desk for 1 1/4hrs now thinking how delicious my lunch will be- the salad that I accidentally left at home and plan to get as soon as I’m done with this customer. It only takes 10 minutes to get home, unlock the house, grab the food, and be back.

However, wouldn’t it be rude if I wasn’t here in the office when that customer shows up?

So I wait.

In this current world where everyone wants everything NOW, at this very moment, would it hurt to show a little courtesy when they are going to delay others?

Let’s treat others how we’d like to be treated. Make that courtesy phone call if you are running behind. Remember, small business owners like to eat lunch too.   🙂

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