Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

Summer Showdown

I’m up against a battle of wills, folks.¬† Fairly certain that I’ve already faced what might be the ultimate summer battle of “who’s in charge” with my 5yr old daughter.

It was over one basket of clean, folded laundry. Now don’t let your imagination run away… She isn’t Cinderella.
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It wasn’t everyone’s clothes.

She only has three chores a day AND she gets to choose two of them.

Her other choices include things like “pick up the shoes,” “read books for 30 minutes,” and “help clean up after dinner.”

Her task was to take the already folded clothes and sort them into already labeled piles of shirts, dresses, shorts, pants, and undies. The plan was that following her sort, I would be able to pull the winter vs. summer items and the size that she grew out of. Voila! Her drawers would be ready for summer.

20 items – approximately a 10 minute task – that she has done before.

This little spit-fire of mine decided this was officially the hill she was willing to die on.

After offering multiple accommodations, as in putting her bean bag chair in just the right spot, giving words of encouragement and hugs, and even setting a timer to help speed the process up… she sorted two items.

She dug her heels in. Crossing her freckled little arms, she sobbed to me that she wasn’t going to do it. Just WAS NOT going to sort those clothes. I said “Fine, but nothing fun until this is done.”

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The timer was set for 30 minutes because that is exactly how long I had before the kids and I headed up to the office. Following an afternoon of work, she was scheduled to have t-ball practice.

30 minutes passed and the project had no progress. Sweet thing lost t-ball practice because this Mama isn’t playing the delay game. At 5:15 that evening, she was still holding out. Sweet thing lost her bike, cartoons, music, and games until the basket was sorted…

Life went on around her. I prepped dinner. Her brother played outside on the patio. 45 more minutes of life.

Approximately six, yes SIX, hours after the request was made, she grumpily sat down and separated her shirts from her pants.

It took eight minutes.

This one set the tone for who was in charge this summer. Goodness help me!!! I’m the mom. I’m in charge of setting boundaries and teaching responsibility. Obedience to her parents and respect for adults is non-negotiable at age 5.

She is welcome to make choices about the smaller things like her wardrobe or which veggie she eats or Candyland instead of Connect4. I don’t care if she puts flowers with polka dots or mixes her favorite red Wonder Woman shirt with pink shorts. I honestly didn’t even flinch when she ate Pizza Combos and mandarin oranges for breakfast last week.

Summer Showdown: MOM-1, M-0

I must not have scarred her too much with the laundry debacle. She painted this picture of us yesterday. Just look at that hair… Ha! Happy summer! Keep your sense of patience and humor! ūüôā

Madysen Paint 5-30-18

 

Creativity · Family · Parenting · Perspective

Puddles, Bikes, and Sprinklers- Oh My!

Here we are! June 1st. We are officially one week into summer break.

To date we’ve:

  • gone fishing
  • thrown water balloons
  • watched Pete’s Dragon and ate popcorn
  • skipped every single nap
  • coach pitch practice
  • played a coach pitch baseball game
  • played one t-ball game
  • tossed the Frisbee
  • grilled the last 4/7 nights
  • played catch
  • rode bikes
  • went for¬†walks
  • played in puddles
  • planted flowers and tomatoes
  • started summer chores which include weeding the garden and being in¬†charge of¬†his/her own¬†laundry
  • missed our bedtime by at least 1.5hrs every single night
  • Memorial Day festivities – parade, bouncy house, 5K color run
  • Memorial Day visit to the cemetery to pay respects to our military and loved ones
  • ran thru the sprinkler – two different days
  • church
  • helped on the farm
  • and¬†frustrated assisted this working mom at the office.

Whew… It’s already June 1st!

This morning I ran into a friend at the coffee shop. I don’t normally hit the coffee shop, but we are celebrating a birthday at our house today. He requested a breakfast bowl from Kettle and thus my stop.

kettleWe were talking about our summers and what we have planned. Her boys are close in age to my own crew. Her schedule sounded like it was packed with fun, but BUSY. She teaches at the local college, so she has her summers at home with the guys. They have baseball and camps and practices and reading programs and…

When she asked about our summer, I said yes Рwe have baseball two nights a week in the month of June. We also have one basketball camp planned for a couple mornings in July and some swim lessons when we can squeeze them in. That was pretty much it. I chose to say no to everything else.

We said no to the reading program at the library. We said no to any extra academic camps. We said no soccer camp. We said no to traveling baseball. We said no to pretty much everything else.

And it feels GOOD.

Saying NO¬†is how we said¬†YES to all the other things we’ve done the past week.

A few months ago, I was getting the message loud and clear that I needed to prioritize my family’s time. C’mon!!! Three different books – all with the same message – being given to me in the same week by three unique individuals?!

Yesterday, my devotion included the message of choosing WHERE to be busy with my time. This message goes for my children as well. Do I want my children to choose being busy on a tablet or in front of the TV?

Not really.

The complaint from my littles at the office yesterday was that they were bored. B.O.R.E.D. They wanted entertainment. More so, they wanted ME to entertain them.

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Nope. Nada. Not happening. This fits firmly under the category of “Not my duty as a parent.” I explained (again) to them that I gave birth twice so they would have each other as playmates. Furthermore, they have fabulous imaginations, working eyes, legs, and arms, and a safe environment to enjoy within a block of the office. I can see them on the basketball court thru the window from my desk.

“Go outside and entertain yourselves! Create something new!”

It’s a big beautiful world out there! Kids, choose to be busy having the freedom of childhood and making memories instead of leveling up. If as children, he/she wants to spend¬†free time practicing, that’s fine. It’s¬†personal choice.¬†I balk at the idea of scheduling their summers full of activities and requirements (other than normal family responsibilities – you aren’t getting out of your chores that easy!).

This summer break, we are opting to say NO, so that we can choose to say YES to quality time and fun together.

My kids will hopefully see less of this view and more of me face to face, laughing, playing, and actually being. Not just as mom – the harried, working, hustling-everybody-everywhere driver.IMG_1273

 

 

 

Family · Parenting · Perspective

Top 10: It’s Time for Summer Break

You are probably seriously wondering who is more eager to be done this year… me or my kids? I’d say it’s a tie.

10. It’s light out until almost 9pm and bedtime was no later than 8:20pm. “Mom, it isn’t even dark out yet!!!” Can’t argue with that.

9. Sticker charts are no longer working for anything. Nada. Zilch. NOTHING.

8. They’ve been watching movies in the majority of their “specials” (art, music, etc.) for two weeks already.

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7. Summer baseball games have started, as they have every year previously for decades, and school is still in session.

6. Even the teachers are wondering why they voted for this later “last day” calendar.

5. Everybody is crying in the morning about getting up for school. Not sure my kids could move any slower.

4. School lunch. That’s what you are eating unless you are going on a field trip. No¬†special lunches because you “don’t like what we’re having at school today.” Find something you can chew and swallow on that plate.

3. I’m only opening the backpack once a week…

2. We stopped with homework 3 weeks ago. The teacher said it was optional?

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1. For the love of all good things: The sun is shining. Birds are singing. Grass needs mowing. Flowers are blooming. Garden is growing. Farming is kicking into high gear and I’m still running carpool!

3 more days!!!