Parenting – Laugh.Cry.Giggle.Smile.

Looking at this pile of dishes, I asked myself “Mess or Memory?”

After a full day of work yesterday, my daughter and I made the transition home. The hardest part of my day is the transition between work Jen and home/mom Jen. I don’t do it well. I mean, truly…. it’s my snappiest part of the day.

My sweet girl asked “Mom, what are we doing after this?” as I gathered my purse and lunchbag, locked the door, and set the alarm at the office. I audibly groaned. She dropped her head, which then of course made the transition worse.

I’m conscious that this is my hardest moment of each day. Also apparent is that my daughter (and family) deserve more than my leftover energy. Truthfully, all I want to do when I get home is take ten to unwind my brain and then attack the home responsibilities like the laundry, dishes, and dirty floors.

However after a crisp 15 minutes in the cold feeding calves before coming in the house, she asked if we could make something in the kitchen. My snapback comment was that if she wanted to cook, she was on her own but I’d help with measurements and getting ingredients. Whoa. Snippy.

I immediately realized this was the exact thing I was trying NOT to do! She deserves my full mom attention and not a snappy, tired mom answer. As she pulled out a cookbook and started thumbing through it, I took a couple deep breaths. I changed my tune. We discussed what we had in the pantry, refrigerator, and freezer. After a little discussion, we settled on making chicken noodle soup and mashed potatoes…. from scratch!

We used the InstaPot to “speedily” pressure cook the frozen chicken and raw carrots and start a good broth. While it did its magic, we washed, peeled, and diced potatoes. She was shocked to find out that not only did I waitress, but I also peeled hundreds of pounds of potatoes over my teenage years working in restaurants. We giggled. We chatted about 3rd grade things like recess and Red Ribbon spirit week. After all our ingredients were settled and making progress on the stove, we pulled up an “Aurora Teagarden” mystery on Hallmark. That series is a personal favorite for both of us.

After our mashed potato and chicken noodle masterpieces were complete, we laid a blanket on the floor and ate picnic-style. Obviously, we ignored the dishes. When the boys returned home, they enjoyed our kitchen creations too. The evening was enjoyable in its entirety.

I snapped a picture of the kitchen chaos today with the caption “but so many dishes….” and sent it to my never-deleted, infinite text conversation with my mom and sisters. I’m horribly behind in the kitchen. Seven forks. Seven forks is all that’s left in my silverware drawer…. My sister replied, “but all the memories you made!”

In those six words is my choice. Do I look at two overflowing sinks of dishes as a mess or as evidence of memories made? Do I sourly clean my kitchen because its another task on the list… Or, do I invite my children to talk to me while I address the dirty dishes? When I go about these tasks with a light mood and good music, usually dancing ensues. Then the memory already made transforms into another joyful memory.

As in most matters, there is a choice. Mess or Memory?

I’m starting the last day of this work week in a reflective mood. A comedic mood. Slightly triumphant.

I started this day with a grumpy 10 year old. This is our 8th full week of in-school education. He’s tired. He’s going to be even grumpier when he finds out that he isn’t going to the farm for Friday night and Saturday. His bag was packed, but my mom called this morning to say she’s down with stomach flu (which is circulating thru adults in our area). Eeek.

However, we did get both kids on the bus with hugs, water bottles, and backpacks. So, I’m considering that a win. Cue the triumphant music!

My morning surprise was walking out to see my large morning glories finally blooming! I’ve waited months. This was my first attempt at planting this flowering vine. I had no idea it would overtake a 8ft x 14ft area. These vines have been a happy place for many insects and creatures this summer. Each bloom is 5-6″ wide. What a startling blue color!

Next, I headed to town to donate blood. This was donation #10. I did a whole line of Oreos yesterday to get my iron high enough to donate. This should have been donation #14, but I’ve been turned down three times for my iron being too low and once for a “timing issue.” Did you know Oreos are iron fortified? Yes. Yes, they are. I’m trying to make healthy choices (and Oreos don’t fit that eating plan), so you better believe I wasn’t going to waste that line of Oreos by not showing up at the donation drive. Boom. My iron was 14.5. After donation, the organizers treated me to a bowl of chili, a sandwich, and a piece of apple pie. A second breakfast at 9:30am? Absolutely.

Have you ever used an automatic car wash and had it shut off on you while you were in it? Strange. That happened this morning. My extremely dirty vehicle (dirt roads, fall harvest, three months of bugs) was due up for a wash. A friend at the auto parts store where I grabbed filters for the shop made fun of how dirty it was. Thus, I headed over for a quick scrub. It went thru the pre-wash/ undercarriage and then everything just turned off! No lights. No movement. I drove forward and backward multiple times thinking maybe I just wasn’t placed quite right. Then I called the phone number. “Yes, it seems we’ve had a complete failure of power at the car wash.” Ok then…. All I could do was marvel at the ridiculousness and laugh. I ended up washing it by hand in a different bay in my nice, new cardigan.

I’ve been back at my desk for a couple of hours doing normal work things. What a full and crazy morning! All you can do on a day like this is giggle. Keep it positive. I feel like I’ve lived an entire day in 6 hours.

On a different train of thought – I realized that as much as I was trying not to, the social media comparison game was getting in my head (thank you therapist!). I deleted the Facebook and Messenger apps off my smart phone. If you are feeling anxious, try doing that. Weight lifted. No nervous pressure to click and see what everyone else is doing. Just be in your moment with your people.

Have a glorious weekend! — Jen