Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

Summer Showdown

I’m up against a battle of wills, folks.  Fairly certain that I’ve already faced what might be the ultimate summer battle of “who’s in charge” with my 5yr old daughter.

It was over one basket of clean, folded laundry. Now don’t let your imagination run away… She isn’t Cinderella.
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It wasn’t everyone’s clothes.

She only has three chores a day AND she gets to choose two of them.

Her other choices include things like “pick up the shoes,” “read books for 30 minutes,” and “help clean up after dinner.”

Her task was to take the already folded clothes and sort them into already labeled piles of shirts, dresses, shorts, pants, and undies. The plan was that following her sort, I would be able to pull the winter vs. summer items and the size that she grew out of. Voila! Her drawers would be ready for summer.

20 items – approximately a 10 minute task – that she has done before.

This little spit-fire of mine decided this was officially the hill she was willing to die on.

After offering multiple accommodations, as in putting her bean bag chair in just the right spot, giving words of encouragement and hugs, and even setting a timer to help speed the process up… she sorted two items.

She dug her heels in. Crossing her freckled little arms, she sobbed to me that she wasn’t going to do it. Just WAS NOT going to sort those clothes. I said “Fine, but nothing fun until this is done.”

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The timer was set for 30 minutes because that is exactly how long I had before the kids and I headed up to the office. Following an afternoon of work, she was scheduled to have t-ball practice.

30 minutes passed and the project had no progress. Sweet thing lost t-ball practice because this Mama isn’t playing the delay game. At 5:15 that evening, she was still holding out. Sweet thing lost her bike, cartoons, music, and games until the basket was sorted…

Life went on around her. I prepped dinner. Her brother played outside on the patio. 45 more minutes of life.

Approximately six, yes SIX, hours after the request was made, she grumpily sat down and separated her shirts from her pants.

It took eight minutes.

This one set the tone for who was in charge this summer. Goodness help me!!! I’m the mom. I’m in charge of setting boundaries and teaching responsibility. Obedience to her parents and respect for adults is non-negotiable at age 5.

She is welcome to make choices about the smaller things like her wardrobe or which veggie she eats or Candyland instead of Connect4. I don’t care if she puts flowers with polka dots or mixes her favorite red Wonder Woman shirt with pink shorts. I honestly didn’t even flinch when she ate Pizza Combos and mandarin oranges for breakfast last week.

Summer Showdown: MOM-1, M-0

I must not have scarred her too much with the laundry debacle. She painted this picture of us yesterday. Just look at that hair… Ha! Happy summer! Keep your sense of patience and humor! 🙂

Madysen Paint 5-30-18

 

Family · Parenting · Perspective

Cheers to the end of the School Year!

Two-thirds of our dishes are dirty in the sink. Two large unfolded baskets of clean laundry sit in the middle of my living room. Two backpacks spilling over with school supplies lean against our kitchen island. Lunchboxes sit still loaded with the remnants of field trips. Dirty clothes haven’t made it to the hamper.

It’s chaos.

But, I’ll take it. Wednesday was the last day of school. We are officially on summer break! We made it!

We will start operation School Supply Sort and Stash later today. I’ll enjoy the mess knowing my children successfully learned new skills and grew up by inches and pounds. As they sleep with their precious exhausted heads on their pillows tonight, I’ll be happy.

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Cheers to a successful academic year being complete!

 

Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

Time for a Date

Nestled between my early morning devotion time and heading out the door for a run, it hit me.

My husband and I haven’t been out (or in) together without kids since March.

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I know…. that is shocking!

Almost two months ago, we flew to Key West for a handful of days. I don’t think we’ve been anywhere without the little people we created, even for groceries and a burrito, since mid-March.

Time to get back on the same page…

Today I scheduled a 36hr getaway for us. We are going to see another couple for a Friday evening and Saturday a couple of weeks from now. What? You thought we’d be able to throw together something for this weekend?! That’s just crazy talk….

Honestly though, it is incredibly important to put that extra time into your relationship. It’s been lacking here. We’ve had a rough patch lately where I truly wanted to get in the car and drive away. Solo. Where? Who knows. Maybe just to go sit in a coffee shop or restaurant and read a book while I sip a chai latte (DF of course) or eat chips and salsa? I might even treat myself to a bowl of guacamole.

But I don’t drive away. I told him I wanted to. Yet I haven’t gotten in the car, removed the car seats, and made a break for it.

Why? A couple of reasons:

  • I genuinely like my crew of people – most of the time. Experience has taught me that it is highly unlikely that you will enjoy another human 100% of the time. I’m quite sure I would not enjoy my own clone 100% of the time…
  • I’m an introvert. Quiet time is necessary to recharge. Daily running and devotions need to become a priority again instead of snoozing the alarm and then needing space from my family later.
  • I love my husband. Even when we aren’t clicking and I’m not even sure we are speaking the same vernacular, we still have almost 18 years invested in our relationship. We’ll celebrate the 13yrs married mark this summer. Sometimes I wonder though… when I say something – what is he hearing???
  • I love who I am when we are in sync. Disharmonious as we are right now, we will find our rhythm again soon. We are better together. He lightens me. I focus him.
  • I’m flat-out terrible at self-care. When I make a cry for help like “Hey honey, I think I’ll just leave. No I don’t know where I’m going to go…” that’s pretty serious stuff. It needs to be addressed together. Instead of further isolating myself, I need to pull closer to that covenant I have with my husband and family.

What it boils down to is that it is time for a date. A real, fix-your-hair, put on a nice dress, lipstick instead of chapstick type of date. No talk of the kids’ baseball schedules, end-of-school year events, or that we are COMPLETELY out of all ingredients necessary to make breakfast. It is time for actual date talk about interests and plans and that amazing song I heard on the radio last week.

It’s time to reconnect and get back in sync.

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Perspective · Uncategorized

Courtesy

I’m a SUPER optimist. I solve problems or at least try to find a way to process and improve them.

However – I’m starting to believe that common courtesy is becoming less common…

The point of all of this is: If you make an appointment with someone, KEEP IT.

My husband and I own and operate a small business with two other full-time employees. We started this business from scratch straight out of college. Short of the couple of years I taught high school physical science/ physics classes and while I was on maternity, we’ve worked together in the office full-time.

As is frequently the case, one of us has to go somewhere to pick up or deliver parts, machinery, or trips for the deposit. We have to physically leave the office. This puts all the office responsibilities in the lap of the other person. Today, it’s my lap.

I have a list of people that are scheduled to come by, a list of phone calls to return, am manning the phone, and updating the advertising and web.

Here’s the rub. When you make an appointment to meet someone, usually you try to show up early or be prompt. 10 minutes can still an acceptable grace period if you can’t be exactly on time or early as long as it isn’t a medical appointment and you’ve called to say you are running late. When it’s over the noon hour, aka lunch, the courteous thing to do is to call if you aren’t going to make it near your appointment time.

giphy5I’ve been working on various odd jobs around my desk for 1 1/4hrs now thinking how delicious my lunch will be- the salad that I accidentally left at home and plan to get as soon as I’m done with this customer. It only takes 10 minutes to get home, unlock the house, grab the food, and be back.

However, wouldn’t it be rude if I wasn’t here in the office when that customer shows up?

So I wait.

In this current world where everyone wants everything NOW, at this very moment, would it hurt to show a little courtesy when they are going to delay others?

Let’s treat others how we’d like to be treated. Make that courtesy phone call if you are running behind. Remember, small business owners like to eat lunch too.   🙂

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Faith · Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

What I’m Celebrating on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day 2018.

Many moms out there were being showered with lavish gifts. Quite a few, I imagine, received no recognition at all for the day. Others were somewhere in between.

I was an ‘in-between-er’ at the low end of the spectrum. No gifts, but they did make construction paper cards. It was another day where my kids bickered, my extremely tired 5yr old melted down and crashed for 3hrs (when is school done?!), and at one point I threatened to get out of the car and let my husband proceed with the kids to our destination without me.

So yeah, basically just another day of motherhood.

Isn’t that what the day is about though? Are we supposed to be put on a pedestal on Mother’s Day or should we move our focus to the little things that are to be appreciated?

I’m not one to worship my children. They aren’t always correct. They aren’t always even pleasant to be around. And yes, I’ve told them to leave me alone or  not talk.

However, I am thankful for these little people in my tribe. I love them unconditionally- always and everywhere. I learn new things about them and myself in abundance when we are together. At times, they swell my heart with gladness. While at others, they throw me into the pit and leave me questioning what I did to make this little monster.

At church, our pastor recognized the mothers and made that the focus of his message. He spoke of   the need to lift up and support all the moms- the young and old, married, single, widowed, biological, adoptive and foster, those who have lost, and the grandmothers raising their grandchildren.

It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It’s effective in the little things- offering childcare for any length of time, helping load or unload bags of groceries, passing her your $10 when she’s checking out at the store, welcoming a family with children instead of frowning at their noise.

The church needs to acknowledge the shift of stay-at-home to working mothers. It’s a change that has been decades in the making. The faith community needs to embrace these weary, hard working women.

He spoke about Hagar in Genesis. She didn’t willingly become a mother. Mothers who weren’t excited to become moms need to be cared for. They are treading water. Don’t let them go under.

When Abraham (man) gave her limited water and sent her away, God (the Creator) showed her a well. Think on that comparison for a moment…

He specifically recognized all of us who have locked ourselves in a room and cried- overwhelmed by life and questioning if we are making the right choices.

Motherhood has deepened my faith exponentially. All the trials, tribulations, meltdowns and months years without solid sleep have given me a glimpse of what love without strings looks like. Love that can’t be earned. Love that just IS.

That love is what I’m celebrating on Mother’s Day.

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Family · Parenting · Perspective

Throw it in the cart

If you know me, you know how much I enjoy office supplies. Folders, highlighters, blue Bic pens, and a solid pair of scissors are a must. I love the feel of a pencil on paper- not too sharp, just dulled down enough to keep it crisp but not so sharp that it scratches the paper. IMG_3400(1)

The same goes for school supplies at the beginning of the school year. That folder with the fluffy cat on it for my 5 yr old? Absolutely. A big package of crayons? Be still my beating heart.

But you know something? It must be the end of the school year because I’m over it. Albeit temporary, I’m tired of trying to keep this stuff useful and organized.

I came to the conclusion that it’s time for school to be out when we went grocery shopping last night. My daughter’s kindergarten class needed treats. We send treats monthly- enough for both the morning and afternoon snack for her whole class. I’ve happily baked or assembled something (I think) tasty, nut-free, and generally health-conscious (minus last month’s brownies) for each month thus far. This time, she asked for strawberry loaf cake from the store’s bakery and a large jug of generic brand cheeseballs.

Sure. Throw it in the cart.

She needs a sack lunch twice in the next two weeks for end-of-school activities. “Mom, can I PLEASE have a Lunchable?” We never buy Lunchables. I can buy meat, crackers, and cheese in bulk and make our own “lunchable” combos. They are on sale 10/$10.

Sure. Throw it in the cart.

giphy3“Mom- look at those Tom & Jerry fruit snacks!” Me- I’m not paying extra to have Tom & Jerry on your fruit snacks. As I glanced down the aisle, I see that all the fruit snacks are the same price.

Sure. Whatever. Throw it in the cart.

This is seriously not me. I watch our grocery bill closely. We don’t buy crap.  But the constant activities, work commitments, and extra school stuff piled on top of the actual educational school stuff has me saying “Sure. Throw it in the cart.”

I stop short of saying I’ve given up. I made both of my kids eat vegetables at dinner a couple of nights ago. It was just one carrot each, but it was the principle of it. I still care and I’m still holding on. You aren’t free yet.

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Teachers, parents, and students alike are all feeling it. We are left with no choice except to power through the last couple weeks with a few extra Kool-Aid Jammers and some Tom & Jerry fruit snacks. We love these little people and our educational system here, so….

Let’s do this people!

Family · Perspective · Uncategorized

Tornado

Last night was fairly eventful for our ‘neck of the woods.’

Tornado Footage

We knew it likely would be. While the spring has so far been quiet, the bulls-eye for severe weather was directly on us yesterday.

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The clouds fired up, as predicted, around 3pm. We scurried to get vehicles and lawn items put away and outdoor projects wrapped up. The bus dropped the kids off as the clouds began to darken.

We sporadically checked the weather radar to see where the most severe parts of the coming storm were located. What trajectory did the strongest part of the clouds have? Is it necessary to go to the basement?

To the north, there were 80mph winds and large hail.

To the south, wall clouds, tornadoes, heavy rain and hail.

Our wheat fields down by my parent’s house had enough hail to change the ground from green to white. An already delayed harvest due to the drought and cold was just stripped by hail…

Fortunately at our home, we had only a brief few minutes of pea-sized hail and a couple of inches of much needed rain. For as rough as the night was around us, our end result was positive due to the drought-ending moisture. 

My children observed all the weather with their faces glued to the south windows wearing only their pajamas and underwear. Obviously we weren’t too worked up about the direction the tornadic parts were moving. It was all at least 15 minutes- as the crow flies- from where we live. My 8yr old and I broke up the weather excitement by trading readings from Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends.

I wouldn’t say that I have a fear of severe storms anymore. As a child, I’d hyperventilate when we had to go to the cellar in the middle of the night. Now. Meh. I’ve seen tornadoes in person. They’ve been close. Mercifully and miraculously, most tornadoes on track to hit us have pulled back up into the clouds. Churning and twisting above us, we’ve never lost more than the chimney cap and some trees.

I have respect for Mother Nature and her fury.

When we are in the direct path, we take the proper precautions and hit the basement cement shelter, fully dressed, with a flashlight until the all clear is given. We don’t stand outside and watch when it’s go time. That’s just plain ridiculous. Homes were hit and destroyed, but I’m relieved to say that there were no injuries or fatalities due to these storms last night. Likely because they were ridden out in storm shelters and basements like they should be. (I’m looking at you crazy storm chaser tourist people! Yes, it’s a real thing.)

As for that, as a trained weather spotter was giving their news report from the safety of their vehicle, we watched a couple of stupid silly people standing out next to a road sign taking pictures of the storm. Not in their car. Not in a building. Out in the open. Basically wearing a sign that says “Strike me dead. I’m the tallest thing out here.” Take it from a person who’s lived in Tornado Alley her whole life: that’s a great way to get hit by lightning.

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One thing is for certain. We have broken the seal on severe weather season for 2018. Game on.