Faith · Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

Progress not Perfection

As you are perusing Pinterest or Instagram or any sort of social media today, just remember this:

For every picture of charm and happy, clean nicely fluffed pillows on a couch in front of a picture window where the snowflakes are gently falling……

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There is a drawer or a corner or a counter or maybe even an entire room that looks more like this….

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Don’t beat yourself up trying to be perfect. Trust me on this one – it doesn’t lead to happiness, joy, or peace.

Keep moving forward. Keep it real. Set your Priorities.

Progress not Perfection.

Faith · Family · Parenting · Perspective

Both Sides of the Coin

As we drove to Parent-Teacher conferences this morning, I gave my husband the run-down of activities and meetings for the next two days. If you remember my post from earlier this fall, you’ll recall that we took a “not at this time” stance to almost ALL extracurricular activities so we could regroup as a family – no flag football, no dance classes, no tumbling…

The list isn’t long – Parent Teacher Conferences 8:20-9am, an orthodontist appointment at noon, customers who scheduled ahead, and an awards ceremony Friday evening that should last only an hour.

I was struck by irony when he looks at me and says “Ugh… could we have anything else on the schedule!”

 Backstory: A couple times a month since July, I’ve reminded my husband gently clearly that I need his emotional support and leadership as a parent and as a spouse to make all-the-little-things work in our family. One of his love languages is to love us by providing at which he is amazing. *Take the time to do that study (5 Love Languages) if you are in a relationship!*

As a woman with only two hands and 24 hours in the day, I am incapable of doing it all without feeling completely depleted, beat down, and depressed. There – I said it – depressed. Out of routine and unable to juggle everybody’s everything, I’ve entertained the idea of simply running away. I know, it’s a super grown-up, mature thought (sarcasm).

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Fortunately, I know I’m loved and love myself too much to do this. We have to work together to balance both of us working full-time, two full-of-life children, a marriage relationship, and minimal hobbies that keep us sane. On top of that, we both need alone time to recharge.

Last week, we hit these topics with force. (Read that as “the ship was going down…”) Since that meltdown conversation, we’ve been quite in-sync and actually offering to help each other with daily tasks that make life easier.

I can’t help think that his reaction to my short list for the next two days is somewhat attached to that previous conversation. He’s been putting in so much effort that he’s seeing the other side of the coin. Marriage and kids take both sides of the coin to function. 13 years of marriage… still learning!

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Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

Observations

Nothing prolific or astounding to report here today. Rather, just a couple of observations from the weekend and a Monday at work.

One – My home is not a staging area for a HGTV show. It likely never will be. I’m good with that. We don’t just exist here. We LIVE here. Work here. Play here. Life happens here. My home isn’t dirty – it’s lived in. Instead of apologizing to people or not inviting them over, I’ve decided to adopt the motto “Clean or Chaos – You are welcome here.”

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Two- Today is Day #4 of rain and cold, damp, dreary weather. Coming from the sunny Midwest USA, this weather makes me want to eat-all-the-things. I’ve already broken out the hot vanilla chai tea. I’m trying to tell myself that it isn’t really time to hibernate yet, but the meteorologist is forecasting our first freeze this weekend.

Three – The absolute worst part of owning a business has to be the phone calls to local customers who haven’t paid. There are very, very few of these. We have FANTASTIC customers. Even though facts are facts and the fact is that “item _____ was rented from ____ to ____” or “part _____ was ordered and shipped,” it doesn’t mean that people will pay in a timely manner. We mail the invoice, then go the phone route, then the letter route, then the phone reminder about the letter route…. and this last week we took someone to court for the first time in 10 years. These customers are few and far between. Life happens. I totally understand that. How do you balance grace and empathy with business?

Four – When I woke my six year old daughter up this morning, I swear I had a flashback. For just a brief moment, she looked just like she did as an infant. It made my heart swell and sink at the same time. The hours and minutes leading up to this might have been long, stressful, and trying. Fast and fleeting are the years that passed to this moment.

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Faith · Family · Parenting · Perspective

Part 3: The Flaming Yam

I am gloriously human. I heard that phrase at the women’s faith conference I attended. To be gloriously human, you must accept both the high points and the low.

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Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com on Pexels.com

Being uniquely knit together by God makes you glorious- even if you don’t think so. You are made for something amazing. Maybe you haven’t found it yet or pieced together that puzzle , but there is a purpose for your existence.

The human part is where the lows come in. We are so fallible. Making mistakes a fair amount of the time. Honestly? That’s ok. There’s this thing called grace. It’s hard to comprehend, but it’s part of the puzzle too.

With that in mind, here is a glimpse of my day of the flaming yam…. a day when an incredible amount of grace and humility and humor was necessary…

  1. Spilled glass of red juice in light grey couch while doing early morning devotions. Stain stick and steam cleaned couch before the sun rose.
  2. Daughter cried for 10 minutes about getting out of bed (day3 of school. This bodes well for the year…)
  3. Found spelling homework in child’s backpack 10 minutes before bus.
  4. Filling in my tooth at dentist. I just LOVE the dentist. (Feel the sarcasm?) I ate my pre-packed salad for lunch with half numb upper jaw. Note to self- next time pack soup.
  5. Worked all day with exception to dentist appt.
  6. Child #1 got off bus and melted down about reading homework. Metaphoric nuclear meltdown on the office floor.
  7. Rushed to make dinner after work because family was LOSING it (American slang of ‘hangry’ fits this) Grilled cheese sandwiches, fruit, and baked potatoes
  8. And the finale- while trying to appease everyone’s personal tastes, I caught a sweet potato ON FIRE in the microwave. Not just a smolder, full on flames and smoke.
  9. Apparently there is science to this- lower moisture content and higher sugar plus high heat equals carbonized sugar. Sizzle, smoke, fully engulfed in flames…
  10. I know we have a working, charged fire extinguisher in the kitchen, but I can’t find it!
  11. When running the flaming yam pinched in a set of metal tongs out the door to toss in a puddle (it rained that day), I forgot about the grilled cheeses on the hot griddle. Those were also burning when I returned to the kitchen.
  12. After the smoke cleared – literally- I threw in the towel. Eat up people.
  13. I’m called it a night. I didn’t even eat.

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That was an actual day in my life. I accept that I am gloriously human. I accept that this day was humbling and ludicrous. It was also humorous. Days like this will drive you to drink if you don’t have a sense of humor.

Lessons of this day: Stay humble. Rejoice in being gloriously human. Keep your sense of humor.

Family · Love · Parenting · Perspective

To do or not to do?

I called my mom for reassurance. I’m a 35 year old woman who needed to hear my mom say “I think that’s a good idea for your family.”

The conversation has been mulling around in my brain for days. Do we or don’t we enroll in fall dance classes? Maybe we should try tumbling instead? Do we or don’t we encourage our son to sign up for fall flag football?

Leaning hard to the “No.” side of things, this was definitely a conversation that needed my spouse’s input. Although I am the chief get-kids-to-their-destination driver, everything we sign up for impacts all of us. Dinner schedules, my level of stress, when I need to leave work, can I work late?… All the pieces revolve around what we are committed to..

The pressure to sign up for extra kid’s activities is immense. It’s a weight I never giphy8anticipated carrying. The cost isn’t great either. Art classes, sports, dance, tumbling, volunteer opportunities, library activities…

Is my child going to be left out if she/he doesn’t sign up? Will they be athletically or academically behind?

Honestly… the answer is no.

No- all the way – no. Last time I checked, my 8 year old wasn’t trying out to be on the farm team (aka the minor leagues) for major league baseball. My daughter isn’t going to be in the Rockettes at age 6. Nor will taking the fall semester off from extra classes stunt their abilities.

Drawing this line in the sand will hopefully allow my family and friends time to be together. Let’s grill out on the patio for dinner! How about a nice bike ride on a Tuesday night after school? Invite a friend over to play for a couple of hours? Sure. I don’t need to schedule around this class or that class.

This basically sounds like utopia after the frenzied summer we’ve had. Although I swore we weren’t going to be THAT overscheduled family, we absolutely were. To say no… it’s a bold choice in our current culture. Being busy, scheduled, and enrolled in everything imaginable to enrich ourselves has left us all drained.

Our conversation about this was short and sweet. My husband agreed completely. Now, to finish convincing myself that I’m not blighting my children’s interests and aspirations I called my mother. She listened without judgement as I presented my case for NOT being involved and replied “I think that’s a good idea for your family.”

Isn’t it sad that the pressure to please others is so great that I needed to hear my mother reassure me that I was making the correct choice for MY family? Thank goodness for amazing beautiful souls like hers.

Don’t we all want to have the freedom in our schedule to do things like this?

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After a fall semester off from the extras, it’s possible that we will be ready and eager to do winter activities like basketball or dance. Perhaps we’ll discover that we enjoy less time running around. Either way, we’ll roll with it when it comes.

Family · Fitness · Health · Parenting · Perspective

Running Away from Monday

It’s been one of those Mondays where I put on my running clothes to run before the sun came up.

But I haven’t ran yet.

It began to thunder, followed by a downpour. Intermittent sharp cloud to ground lightning.

Then I had to get the kids to daycare and myself to work – still wearing my running clothes. Call it the definition of a “Casual Monday?” Perks to owning the business and staying behind a desk.

The weather cleared. I was going to use my lunch to run. But I didn’t get a lunch and ate at my desk because customers LOVE to call and show up at lunch.

Then another thunderstorm moved in.

And I’m still sitting here at the end of the work day wearing my running clothes. I’ve been wearing my “Flipbelt” stuffed with my fully charged iPod and ear buds all. day. long.

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The kids go to VBS for two and a half hours tonight. I will be using that time to run, if not outdoors then at the gym.

I took five minutes to read about an extreme “reset diet and workout routine” that ended with fabulous results. The author of the article- who I might add was single and childless – talked about needing two hours every day at the gym.

I can’t get 30 minutes for a nice leisurely 5K.

A woman can only be functioning for so many hours of the day.

Bleh. Can I just run away from this Monday?

 

 

Faith · Family · Parenting · Perspective

Nancy Drew and other Happenings

Heart Check+ (idea courtesy of Fierce Marriage podcast):

  1. What book is in my hand?
  2. What voice is in my ear?
  3. What’s God stirring in my heart?
  4. Most exciting event of the week?

1 — “The Way the Crow Flies” by Ann-Marie MacDonald. I’ve also read Llama Llama Red Pajama and a box of “Bob” books this past week with my 6yr old. As riveting as those books are, my library choice is just starting to grip my interest. It hasn’t yet reached the point of taking it with me to bed and keeping me up late to read. Maybe a few more chapters before I hit that point? So far… Madeleine’s family has just moved into their new home and are hosting a BBQ for the neighbors. Mr. Froelich is quite seriously explaining why it is important to reach the moon first…

2 — Nancy Drew. Yes. That’s the voice in my 35 year old ear. We Carolyn Keenechecked out a 3-CD set of audio books. “Curse of the Arctic Star” was a good listen and a welcome change-up to the radio. Both kids listened intently in the car everywhere we went for the past week. No arguments. We’d pause it and discuss the exciting points or who we thought the culprit was. Tomorrow we take this one back and get the next installment!

3 — Encouragement. It’s been the message the past few weeks at church and keeps popping up on my social media and in my devotions. Encouragement for me to have courage to step out of my comfort zone. Encouragement to lend a helping hand. Encouragement to show love to all those around me and making sure the glory isn’t mine. (Hint, it’s God’s!) Encouragement to be a light to those around me. I have specific examples, but if I post them… isn’t that seeking glory for that moment? So I’ll just keep making the rounds “catching and releasing” kindness and encouragement to those around me.

4 — In other news, my 8 year old jumped and dived off the diving board at the pool for the FIRST TIME today! I’m so proud of him!!! Yes, that warrants three exclamation points. He struggled with ear problems and tubes for the first 6 years of his life. This stalled him out in terms of getting comfortable in the water. He has worked so hard the last two years to learn to float, then to swim, and finally this summer – IT CLICKED! Deep water, water slides, and the diving board are all major accomplishments!

My kids aren’t natural fish, which is super frustrating for this mother. The water feels natural for me. I married a land-lover who can’t swim. Our children seem to be an interesting mix of the two of us (in many, many ways!). We agree that either the kids know how to swim or they stay out of the water. It’s the “in-betweeners” that are in the greatest danger of drowning. Here’s to hoping that our 6 year old eventually catches on. She is also looking to be a land lover at this point…

Have you read anything worthy of losing sleep over? Any great audio book suggestions for kids?