Family · Health · Perspective

A Hot Drink & A Good Playlist

The weather was absolutely the picture of a perfect fall day both Saturday and Sunday. My children played out in the puddles from Friday night’s thunderstorm and blew bubbles in the sunshine while my husband worked on a few outdoor projects.

However, I was sick. After a slow downward spiral over the course of the week, consider me completely ‘flushed’ on Friday. I broke down and called the clinic after being up part of the previous night. Bless our amazing local medical professionals for their care. Most of my weekend was spent in glasses, a long-sleeved tee, and pajama pants.

Monday’s are busy. Today I’m at work. Congratulations antibiotics! You are making a  positive difference!


When it is chilly out and my body is ill, I have a few go-to’s.

  1. Something warm to snuggle in. I’m currently at my office desk with an oversized cable knit cardigan cozily draped around my body.IMG_2381
  2. Hot drink and lots of fluids. Ok… so I already drink a considerable quantity of fluids on a daily basis. Somewhere in the vicinity of 90-100oz. When I’m ill, I try to jack that up another 50-60oz.
    Today I treated myself to a “vanilla cream” decaf soy latte hold the actual cream. Why? Because my doctor called and said I needed to change medications and the coffee shop is next to the pharmacy. Lucky me!coffee
  3. A candle. Every year I ask for an “autumn-smelly” candle for my October birthday. Basically a deep, rich, non-flowery smelling candle. I purchased this one for myself at the pharmacy on Friday when I was in grabbing my meds. If I’m going to be sick and miserable, at least my house can smell inviting and cozy. As a perk, WoodWick candles crackle as the wick burns.woodwick
  4. Good music. My friend Kelsey introduced me to the Avett Bros on Pandora last week. Their station includes the Avett Bros, Ray LaMontagne, Ron Pope, Ed Sheeran, John Legend, etc. All soulful sounds that don’t have a driving beat. Check out one of their songs here: I and Love and You – Avett Brothers
  5. Games with my kids. When I’m not feeling up to running around the yard or house, we play a lot of board games, puzzles and host stuffed animal/ baby doll tea parties. guess whoWe teamed up for games last night. M and I lost 2 out of 3 games of ‘Guess Who?’ to the ruthlessly strategic big brother. It doesn’t help that she ALWAYS tries to draw Diane. Diane has a crown. Of course she wants Diane!!!

What are your go-to’s when you aren’t feeling great?

Faith · Family · Fitness · Health · Parenting · Perspective

Fall Wknd Recap

Weekend recap:

Saturday- normal Saturday things like laundry, kitchen chores, puzzles before 7:45am because my kids don’t sleep in, painting art projects, cleaning family room so we can walk across it, t-ball in our yard, hauling hay and helping move my father-in-law from one field to another to drill wheat.

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Sunday- test run on injured hip (sciatica is making me a frazzled woman), Sunday school, church, homemade biscuits and gravy for lunch- both dairy and non-dairy versions, and a family trip to pick up a new trailer at the manufacturer (not enough hours in the week when you run a business!).

Then I crashed. We walked in the door at 5:30pm. I had on pajamas at 5:35pm and was asleep on the couch by 6pm. I rarely nap. This is not my normal.

I “slept” to 7:30, but only part was actual sleeping. A good portion of it was laying really still with my eyes closed so they wouldn’t know I wasn’t asleep. Thus, preventing a flood of conversation.

No school on Monday for inservice, so I’m planning on having kids at the office part of the day and when home, making treats for my kids’ classes. IMG_2285Nut free but full of sugar, acorn donut holes look fun and festive. We’ll see if they turn out anything like this… I’ve failed at previous Pinterest ideas!

And now on Monday morning, I’m having an intense debate with a 7yr old about the number of legs on the spider currently residing on our living room ceiling fan…

Have I mentioned that I love my kids? ❤️

Best wishes for a smooth week ahead!

 

Faith · Family · Fitness · Health · Perspective

Positive – Leftovers, Strep, & Pancake Syrup

IMG_1973This is me. I just finished the most amazing taco salad for lunch at my desk.

As I was chewing the spicy, dairy-free concoction, I realized how thankful I was that my kids weren’t interested in tacos last night.

It kind of irked me as I was standing across the kitchen island with the fixings laid out, corn on the cob boiled and ready, food all hot. Nobody wanted to eat. Even my husband only had one small taco and called it done. My 5yr old only wanted 1 ear of corn and no taco. My 7 year old couldn’t eat the corn due to his jankity mouth of missing baby teeth and asked if he could have the taco later. What the what????

But in a new light today, I’m thankful. I just devoured a delicious leftover lunch.

Always seeking the positive!

My two best girl friends pointed this out on Tuesday in a string of text messages that occurred when my 5yr old puked all over herself in the car (read: hair, pillow, blanket, dress, car seat, etc) on the way down the switchback mountain roads about 9 hours from our home on Monday. 9 vomit scent-wafted hours.

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Later, my friend sent me this.

IMG_1962This is how I try to roll. I used to be a pretty serious Debbie Downer sometimes. That was what my sisters actually called me. Then, if it was Christmas, they’d make me wear a Santa hat until I pulled out of it.

I’m not completely sure when my outlook changed, but I know I’ve thrown my life into a more positive direction post-birth of babies, upon going dairy-free, taking up running and regular exercise, my MS diagnosis, and upon learning how to say “NO” to things that aren’t my best yes.

Whew… we are talking about the last 5 years here… not an overnight mental shift.

I don’t have it all mastered. Frankly, I never will. That’s ok. It isn’t my job to do it all perfectly or have everything go according to my plan. That job belongs to God.

But let’s be real. Do I want to re-live the puking and pancakes mountain pass situation? That’s a solid NO. Do I appreciate cooking and nobody eating it? Nada. Am I happy when my child gets strep throat? Of course not. I’m just trying to keep it all in perspective.

In the scheme of things, those are all small potatoes, or shall I say a small packet of syrup?

Much love,
Jen

Faith · Fitness · Health · Love · Parenting · Perspective

2 Steps Back and 5 Forward

5F2B2 Steps Back and 5 Forward: An effort to get to know yourself and who you are made to be, deeper than the outward reflection shown in the mirror.

A local women’s group did a short exercise with the ladies who were present. It is a Christian non-denominational group for new, seasoned, young, and older. A lovely mix of women.

*I follow online because although it is God-centered, it still isn’t a Best Yes for my time when I add in the driving to town and back and how it disrupts my family’s schedule.*

The exercise asked the women to say or describe two things about themselves that are negative.

  1. I overshare details and stories… then spend anxiety-ridden time mentally re-hashing all the oversharing moments that just spewed forth from my lips. Ugh. Thank goodness I don’t publish on here every thought I actually say out loud. Awkward!
  2. I get extremely frustrated during transition times with my kids. Daycare pickup is the absolute WORST. I’m overwhelmed. They’re talking and arguing over each other for my attention. We all end up with our feelings hurt when I have to SHUT IT DOWN.

^^^ It honestly didn’t take much to come up with those. ^^^

The exercise then asked the women to say or describe five positives. I’ll take this one step further, in honor of the book I’m currently reading – Walking with Purpose, and say it can’t be about my job or my duties as a mother or wife.

giphy4Ummmm…. Hmmmm… Maybe…. ?

  1. I am compassionate for ALL things. I catch spiders and release them outside. I don’t want anyone to suffer. If it has to be the end for a living creature, I want it to be quick and painless. Hungry? I want to feed you. Confused? Let’s figure this out.
  2. I very rarely rush to judgement. I like to gather my own research before forming an opinion. I have friends from all sides of the political, geographical, and faith spectrum. Discussions, when respectful, are thought-provoking and enlightening, even if I disagree with the other parties.
    giphy5
  3. I am determined. Four years and two babies ago, I decided if I ever wanted to get in shape and feel good mentally, physically, and emotionally, I had to make it happen. No one else could do that for me. It was MY job to exercise; MY job to make devotion time; MY job to figure out where my life was going. Yes, I have a husband, two littles, a job, a pet, family, friends, etc… but what was my path? my goal? Was I just supposed to feed small people and handle advertising from my computer? No.

    I have a bigger purpose. It is one that is constantly evolving and coming into focus as I make another trip around the sun.

  4. Honesty. I told my children that if they ever ask me a question (which they do 3:1 for every statement – truly, I counted), I will ALWAYS tell them the truth. Don’t want to know about Santa? Don’t ask unless you want the truth and history behind Ol’ Saint Nicholas. What happened to Nana & Papa’s old dog? It died because a body gets old and unable to heal. NOT that it went to live on another farm with other old dogs…. Right Mom and Dad?

    I really think honesty is key here. We sugar coat too much to the point where the next generation won’t understand reality.
    giphy6

  5. Love. Love for my family. Love for my friends. Love for people I don’t even know. I am unconditionally loved by God and want to share that love with those around me.

    I separate love from “like” and “enjoy” and “happiness.” Sure, those are comfortable feelings, but in the uncomfortable is where we grow, support, and care for one another. It’s easy to give a high-five or a smile at the end of a game. It isn’t as easy to sit with a bestie after her engagement ends or know what to say when a friend miscarries, but those are the places that love illustrates beauty. Spending time volunteering to give a hand up to the less physically fortunate or going to an elder care facility and touching a frail, lonely hand, that’s love. Parenting with grace (so hard sometimes!) is another form of love.

    We don’t all “do” love the same way, but think of the world if we all “did” real uncomfortable love in SOME way for somebody.

So there it is. My five positives and my two negatives are out there. Time well spent looking a little deeper into myself.

Much love — Jen

Health

Road Trip

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Sunday- Monday was our biannual road trip to see my neurologist. We left after church on Sunday. Kissed the kids, installed the car seat in grandpa’s vehicle, threw the bags in the backseat of our truck and headed west. 

I love getting to spend that time with my husband — and by time I mean about 7 hours one way and then about 7 hours back. We cover a lot of topics that we don’t normally get to talk about. 

I sing in the car to pretty much anything that comes on. I tried to introduce him to a different genre of music, not so successfully. I listened to his talk radio shows for awhile. We tried to get excited about the Super Bowl, but meh. Not so entertaining on the radio.

We arrived at our friends’ apartment in time for the 2nd half of the Super Bowl and then continued to visit late into the night — 11pm is late for us. Don’t judge. We changed time zones and have two young kids. They were very gracious to put us up for the night. In the midst of our visit, they are closing on a new house and moving out of their apartment in 2 weeks!

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Denver is a big city. We spent most of the morning in traffic trying to get somewhere to eat breakfast. We finally settled on a clean, suburban IHOP where 3 guys were sharing a joint outside. Oh Colorado… How different you are…

Of course, IHOP isn’t known for its dairy free options so it isn’t EVER my first choice. However, the map on my phone had taken us to two options that were not open, so I settled for a California scramble minus the cheese and butter and added some hot sauce. 

After that we trekked back north towards a shopping center where I completely struck out on the two things I needed: jeans and a swimsuit. There are no swimsuits for sale in or around Denver in February. #Ihateshopping

Fortunately, there was a good coffee shop at this shopping center. I settled for a coffee and read my book while he continued to browse. (Present over Perfect – a gift from a friend for Christmas – check it out for a new read.)

As usual, my actual appointment and reason for the road trip was short and sweet. We reviewed my MRI – stable, did blood work – all in normal ranges, and ran thru my physical assessment – no loss of sensation this time! All good things.

She was very interested in my bout of GI virus about a month ago as it apparently caused a psuedo-relapse and threw my nervous systems for a loop before I even had the actual GI symptoms. The crazy pain it caused was likely a “MS Hug.” All things that are new to my experience with this disease. See my blog Tingles about this.

Two interesting developments:
1) We didn’t do contrast on my annual MRI. There is research that the gadolinium can eventually build up in the body and isn’t good for the kidneys, so the group of specialists where I doctor have decided not to order contrast unless they believe something is new or active. I have neither indicators, so no contrast.
2) There is a new treatment being approved by the FDA this spring. It is only twice a year infusions and thus far after 3 clinical trials, has no risk of PML. I’m doing well with almost non-existent side effects with the Tecfidera. I’m not looking to change right now, but this would be a good option in the future according to my neuro – pending getting it thru all the insurance hoops.

Home again home again…

We were happy to make it home late last night and the kids were excited to see us this morning. It’s a big sigh of relief when that trip is over and done.

Health · Perspective

A Running Update About Running

I haven’t updated much lately about my runs. There’s a good reason for that… I haven’t been running.

I came down with a nasty, nasty, nasty virus the day I finished my 40 mile December. That’s right, just one nasty wasn’t enough emphasis. After fighting it at home for a few days, it landed me in the hospital on fluids and zofran for 2 days. Bless the person who invented IV fluids. I received about 6 bags before they unhooked me and sent me home.

That virus knocked me back hard. It fired up my immune system, therefore making my nervous system angry too. I tingled on my arms, legs, and back for two weeks. I was fatigued. I was drinking broth and struggling with solids. And now, I’m finally back at it. I’m working on gaining back some of the weight I lost. I couldn’t keep my running pants up at the sick weight. Not cool.

I went for my first run in almost three weeks yesterday. I parked the car by the grade school so I could cover my day of carpool and ran from there. I ran up the street to the track and knocked out a mile. Then I turned around and hustled back to get my crew of 1st graders. I seriously felt like this: 

26brsi63ak8uxsu6y 

Did I pull that move out once or twice as I chugged it down the street? Maybe. I’ve been caught dancing on a treadmill. It happens.

Running that 1.6mi route sparked my mind to start thinking again of spring running goals. Do I try to train for another half or do I stick to 10K’s and work for a half this fall? I’m just not sure. 

My running thoughts on running…

1) Start easy with pace andl2sqc3popzkj5r8sq distance.
2) Visit with Neurologist about touchy immune and nervous system.
3) Set Spring running goals.
4) Refresh music playlist.
5) Go do it.

 

Much love — Jen

Faith · Family · Health · Love · Perspective

Socks on the Floor

I read a woman’s journal entry today on her site. It is titled “Stop Being a Butthole Wife.” It was blowing up on Facebook news feed. Most of my friends are young wives or husbands. Many have children. It fits for where we are in life.

It is obvious by the number of times it has been shared that it touched a nerve. So here’s my perspective on relationships and what I took from her writing:

  • I can’t even fathom what it means to lose a spouse. I don’t think devastated is a deep enough word for that level of hurt. My husband and I joke about who would be on our “list” if something ever happened to one of us. Honestly, it ends up being a humorous analysis and conversation. At the root of it all is the FACT that he would want me to be happy and move on if he was no longer alive. I reciprocate that sentiment.
  • All those little nitpicky things like socks on the floor, his belt and pocket contents on our kitchen counter, and his mug next to his chair where he ate graham crackers and milk before bed – TINY inconsequential occurrences. These really don’t matter in the panoramic view of our life together. That I know they exist feels comfortable to me. This is his house too. He rarely comments about my bra hanging on the bathroom doorknob and when he does, it’s because company is coming… We try to extend grace to one another.
  • There is so much beauty in a committed relationship. We submit to each other daily thousands of times a day. Why do you always have to be right? You don’t. A huge weight is removed once you confidently are able to recognize that. Do we agree all the time? No, we aren’t playing make-believe house. Disagreeing is healthy. It means we both have a voice. It allows us to maintain ourselves as individuals.
  • I ordered flowers for two different funerals today. My nephew had brain cancer at 18 months and is now a healthy 9 year old. My dad had cancer twice – stage 4 the 2nd time. He is 5 years with no detectable cancer now. We lost my mother-in-law at age 54 two years ago in March to a sudden brain bleed. The innocent get sick. We are helpless to fix it. Those we love pass away.

People – socks on the floor don’t matter.

Maybe I’m writing this because I learned a number of years ago that perfection isn’t possible. I was a perfectionist until I united my life with my husband’s 11 years ago. I was a butthole wife at that point. Young. Naive. Ridiculous. Trying to make my life pinterest-perfect. We’ve had this conversation. I’m still a work in progress, but I know we are in this together for the long haul.

I’ll keep picking up those socks and he’ll keep reminding me about my bra on the doorknob before our company walks in the door. It’s a partnership of love and grace. And it’s totally worth it.